


You scared me, dad

by thisisarandomuser



Series: Broadchurch Fics [3]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Alec Hardy Needs A Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Post-Season/Series 02, Pre-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 19:37:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisarandomuser/pseuds/thisisarandomuser
Summary: When Daisy Hardy got called down to the office, she didn't expect this. But her she was, sitting next to her mum at her dad's hospital bed.





	You scared me, dad

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning for implied suicide attempts and referenced panic attacks.
> 
> I absolutely loved Broadchurch and especially loved Alec Hardy and I just wanted to give him a hug. I might write a prequel to this, I don't know yet. 
> 
> English isn't my first language and if you find any mistakes, tell me so I can fix them. Also, writing advice is greatly appreciated ✌

It had all been a blur. There'd been an announcement for Daisy Hardy to please come to the office and she did to find her mum Tess tear stained and blowing her nose, sitting on one of the sofas. Daisy had been given a piece of paper filled with her dad's messy handwriting, a goodbye letter, a suicide note, and then she'd cried at Tess's chest for the first time in years and Tess had told her that her dad was alive but in a hospital and then she had taken her to said hospital where they'd waited for hours. 

Then they'd finally been allowed to see him. He was still weak but not in a life threatening situation anymore. Still asleep. And now she was sitting here, in an uncomfortable chair, still wearing her school uniform, eyes red from crying, staring at her dad who was asleep in a hospital bed. His chest rose and fell slowly, his breathing helped by the small cannula held in place underneath his nose. 

Daisy had never seen Hardy in a hospital before. He never stayed long, always dismissed himself as soon as he could walk on his own, and Tess had never taken her to see him in the first place. He wouldn't have approved anyway. He had spent loads of time in a hospital when he'd been thirteen and fourteen, when his mum had been dying, and he had hated it, hated it so much that this hatred for any medical institution was now ingrained in his brain and even apart from that, he didn't want Daisy to see him sick. 

After a while of just staring, Daisy finally, very slowly, took one of her dad's hands, the one that wasn't wrapped in bandages, in between hers. It was bigger than hers and felt warm and heavy. She bit his lip and turned to look at her mother. 

Her voice was quiet and she tried to force every emotion out of it, when she asked: 'How did he do it, mum?'

Tess hesitated.

'Daiz, I don't think-'

Daisy interrupted her. She felt like she'd been babied since they got here, her mother making sure that she didn't hear what the doctors were saying, and she'd had enough of it. She wanted to know. 

'Mum, please. I'm not a child anymore. Just... how did he do it?'

'Alcohol and pills,' Tess answered, still a little hesitant.

'And his hand?'

'They think he punched a wall.'

'Okay,' Daisy said. After a pause she added: 'He had nowhere to go after you told him that he couldn't fix our family.'

It wasn't meant to be an accusation and only after she had said it, Daisy realized that it sounded like one. She debated to apologize because she didn't want to stir up any more trouble but she wanted to hear what her mum had to say. 

'I couldn't know that he would go try to kill himself!'

Tess's voice rose in the middle of her sentence. She sounded defensive. She had crossed her arms in front of her chest. After seeing the hurt in Daisy's eyes, she uncrossed them, tried to reach for her daughters shoulder, but was brushed off.

'I'm sorry. I really am. You shouldn't have to deal with this.'

'Well, now I bloody well have to because you two can't keep your shit together!'

'Language, Daisy.'

'That's all you have to say?,' Daisy asked.

Tess swallowed. Daisy could tell that there was a lot more she wanted to say, could tell by the way her eyes darted across the room, lingered on her father.

'It's not my place to tell you,' she decided to say after a few seconds.

Great. Daisy turned to look away from her mum, exasperated.

'God, please.'

'I can't, sweetheart,' Tess said, 'he has to tell you this.'

Surprised at the honesty in her mum's voice, but also slightly suspicious, Daisy glanced at her again.

'What do you mean?'

'It's very personal. I don't think he wants you to know this.'

'He's my dad,' Daisy protested weakly, 'we're a family.'

'Still.'

Daisy sighed. She ran a hand through her long hair and then placed it back on Hardy's hand. Tess smiled at her helplessly. Daisy could tell it was forced.

'I'm so sorry.'

Daisy smiled back, the exact same forced, tight-lipped smile. She knew that fighting wouldn't help. She didn't want them to fight now, either. She wanted her family back, the old family. Even when both her parents had worked a lot and even when they had fought almost weekly, they had still been a family and they had somehow always managed to make peace and stick together, no matter what. All of that was gone now. All of it. And Daisy didn't know what to do about it. She loved both her parents, she really did, but they couldn't seem to stand each other anymore and to be honest, even though she always tried to stay neutral, having her mum be the one who cheated on her dad and be the one to reject any idea of ever being a family again, had hurt her and had made her side with her dad. 

'Do you still love him?,' she asked after a while.

'He's ... he's a good man,' Tess answered, 'he really is. And I still care about him.'

'But you don't love him.'

'Not in a way that could give us back what we had.'

Daisy nodded. She heard Tess get up, felt her presence behind her, felt a hand on her shoulder and leant into her mother's touch. Her throat tightened as she tried to breathe in and seconds later, tears were streaming down her cheeks again, her body shaking with silent sobs. Tess leant down and loosely wrapped her arms around her daughter.

'It's alright,' Tess mumbled. Daisy wondered briefly if her mum was trying to convince herself of this, too. 'Shh, it's alright.'

'It's not.' 

Daisy's voice was choked off, she could barely get the words out. She felt her mum rub her shoulder, let go of her father's hand with one hand to search for one of her mother's hands to take it.

'No, but it will be,' Tess tried to reassure her daughter again.

'I just want him to be okay.'

'I know. Me, too.'

Tess pressed a kiss to the top of Daisy's head. 

'We'll figure this out, I promise. We'll get him the help he needs and he can stay with us until he's stable and then we'll help him find a new flat closer to us, alright?'

Daisy nodded. She let her mum wipe her tears, absentmindedly stroked her dad's hand.

''M sorry.'

'You've got every right to be upset, sweetheart. There's nothing you have to be sorry for.'

Another nod. Tess squeezed Daisy's shoulders and then let go of her.

'I gonna go get us a tea, alright?'

'Alright, mum.'

Daisy watched as her mother left the room, waited for the door to close. She didn't really know what to do. Was she supposed to talk to her dad? She didn't know what to say, it felt a bit silly that she wanted to talk at all, considering he couldn't hear her. But then, Hardy stirred and his eyes opened (barely, but they did) and it didn't matter anymore. 

'Dad?'

He swallowed, closed his hand around Daisy's. He looked worse, now that he was awake. Tired. His half lidded eyes seemed out of focus and it took a few seconds until he turned his head towards her. He was breathing hard and Daisy wondered what that was about but she didn't want to ask.

'Daisy.'

His voice was raspy. She realized that he'd probably had thrown up a great deal after he'd taken the pills, but she shook off the thought. No. Don't think about that. No. She smiled even though she knew that he could see that it was forced.

'You scared me, dad.'

'I'm sorry.'

It fell silent again for a few seconds. Daisy wanted to ask why he did it, why he tried to take his own life, but she doubted she'd get an answer. And then there was what her mum had said. Something he had to tell her. Something he didn't actually want her to know. Daisy shifted in her seat, repeatedly circled a thumb over the back of her father's hand.

'Does it hurt?'

Hardy shook his head, stifling a wince at the too sudden movement. 

'Not really, no,' he said.

Daisy nodded, swallowed the lump in her throat.

'That's good.'

Another silence. It was uncomfortable. The question was hanging in the air and it had taken all of Daisy's self control not to ask it. But she couldn't keep it in any longer.

'Dad, why did you do it?'

'Darlin'.'

'I want to know.'

He looked away from his daughter, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he searched for the right words.

'It was just - too much. Not being able to - to get our family back together, and the lack of sleep and the nightmares, and - and panic attacks -'

'You never told me about nightmares and panic attacks.'

He focused his gaze on Daisy again. Daisy could see that he didn't want to talk about it, that he was uncomfortable, but she wanted to know, to at least try to understand.

'You shouldn't worry about it, Daiz.'

'You're in a hospital.'

He sighed.

'They started again after Sandbrook. I used to have them when I was a teenager, too.'

Was that what her mum had been talking about? Daisy wasn't sure. But she also didn't want to push it right now, so she bit her lip, kept quiet and stared at their joined hands. She only looked up when she heard him talk again, his voice was still rough, but he was speaking quietly, sounded almost cautious, as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask.

'Give your old man a hug?'

Daisy got up from her chair, sat down next to him on the bed and let him pull her into a one-armed hug, peck her temple. She could feel his breaths against her chest and it worried her how ragged they still were, but she didn't say anything.

'I love you, darlin'.'

'Love you, too,' she said. After a second of silence, she added quietly, 'you're gonna get help, right?'

He rested his head on top of Daisy's.

'Don't have much of a choice, eh?'

Daisy shook her head, relieved. She was glad that she didn't have to convince him. He could be a stubborn git and to be completely honest so could she, but she was currently in no emotional state to bring any useful arguments.

'No.'

'Okay then.'

The door opened. Both Daisy and her dad turned to the door to see Tess enter the room, a cup in each hand. She flashed them a smile, walked over to them.

'You're awake,' she said to Hardy, handing Daisy a cup. 'We can get you a tea, too, if you want, Alec.'

He shook his head.

'I think I'll stick to water until my stomach feels a little more stable.'

'Fair enough,' Tess answered. She pulled the chair Daisy previously sat on back a little and took a seat.

'Did they say anything about when I could go home?,' Hardy asked.

'You literally just woke up, dad,' Daisy said, 'let them at least check if everything's alright first.'

She took a sip from her cup, pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. When he shook his head, Tess and her sighed simultaneously.

'Alec, please. Especially with your heart, you shouldn't-'

He interrupted her.

'I don't care about my bloody heart. I just want to go home. Please.' 

Daisy and her mum exchanged a look. It was clear that he wasn't going to react well to being told that he'd be staying with them (he hated feeling like he lost control about what was happening to him) and both of them didn't want to be the one to tell him. Tess sighed again before she started speaking.

'Okay. But you're not going to your flat. You're staying with us for a while.'

Hardy let go of Daisy, his brows furrowed, his voice rose when he spoke and his accent thickened

'Didn't you just say two days ago that you didn't want me in your bloody house?'

Tess shook her head.

'It doesn't matter,' she said, 'we're not letting you go through this on your own!'

'I'm a grown man!,' he protested.

'Yes, a man who just attempted suicide.'

It was silent for a few seconds after Daisy's forcedly calm intervention. She felt him tensing up, relax again before he pulled her back into the hug.

'I'm sorry, Daisy.'

'Can you promise that you won't try again?'

Daisy didn't miss the look Tess threw her dad. She looked back and forth between her parents, inhaled slowly. A suspicion dawned on her, a very uncomfortable suspicion of what her mother could have meant. She didn't want to think about it. But then again she needed to know. She would regret it if she didn't ask now, that was for sure.

'Please tell me this was the first try?,' she said, her voice barely over a whisper. 

His chest widened with a deep breath.

'Darlin'.'

Fuck. 

'Shit, dad.'

'I'm sorry, sweetheart.'

'When?,' she asked, doing everything in her abilities to keep her voice from trembling.

He hesitated.

'Daisy-'

'When?,' she repeated. She was done with the bullshit.

'First time when I was seventeen. My mum died and then my dad had an alcohol problem cause he couldn't deal with it and then the - the panic attacks. And then again about - about twelve years ago. My first murder case. We couldn't solve it. And then I went out and got in a fight and-,' he paused, searching for the right words. Sighed. 'I don't even know. It just came crashing down on me.'

Daisy didn't say anything. She just turned to bury her face at her father's chest. Hardy shifted to make some more space for her and started running his hand up and down her back.

'I'll try to get this under control, darlin'.'

'Promised?,' Daisy asked, not letting go of him.

'Promised,' he confirmed. He rested his head on top hers again and slowly rocked both of them back and forth. 'Shh. It's all going to be alright.'

Tess took the tea cup out of her daughters hand and placed it and her own cup on the small table next to Hardy's hospital bed.

'I'm gonna get the papers for signing you out then?,' she offered, already standing up.

Hardy nodded. 

'Please.'


End file.
